This blog post has been calling me for a few weeks now and I’m so excited to finally sit down to write it for you. Why? Surrendering to the flow of life has been one of the best things I have done for my mental health. It’s right up there with journalling and meditation!
If you’re reading this there’s a good chance you’ve experienced anxiety and if that’s the case, perhaps you’ve tried to control events, situations and the perceptions of others to your advantage. #canrelatesista
For as long as I can remember I have tried to control life. In my teens I was a crazy perfectionist…from my appearance to my grades. As my anxiety got worse over the years, so did my need to control. I needed to control how others perceived me, how conversations would flow, how events would unfold.
I would practice conversations in my mind. I would meticulously plan brunch dates with friends, knowing exactly where I wanted to sit, what I’d order, how I’d get there, where I’d park, which lane was the best to drive in. I learnt how to navigate and control conversations so the focus would stay on the other person.
On social media I’d share photos that represented only the best moments of my life – getting the job, the new car, the day I spent at the beach, the holidays…
The thing is, controlling life is bloody exhausting, time consuming and not actually possible. We can’t control how others feel about us. We can’t predict what others will say. We can’t predict the traffic jam, the sickness, the unexpected meeting, the pimple that’s just cropped up in between your eyes…
A lot of the time, it’s much easier to surrender and accept what is.
To surrender is to trust we will always be OK no matter what happens. I believe we are always where we’re meant to be, meeting who we’re meant to meet, having the experiences we’re meant to have. And I believe there is an important lesson to be learnt in every moment (especially the “bad” ones). The universe always has our back!
"Always say 'yes' to the present moment... Surrender to what is. Say 'yes' to life - and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you." - Eckhart Tolle
If you had told me 5 years ago that one of the best things I could do in moments of stress, anxiety and overwhelm was to surrender - I wouldn't have believed you. But you see, if I had surrendered all those years ago – I would have spoken up earlier. I wouldn’t have kept my pain and struggles a secret for so long. I wouldn’t have felt the need to hide. I would have been more present. I would have stopped repeating the same old stories and limiting beliefs. I would have spent more time having fun and truly enjoying life! Not living in the past and future.
So how does one surrender?
- First and foremost, trust you are exactly where you are meant to be right now and most importantly, know you’ll always be OK. When you get in this mindset you will notice more signs and beautiful synchronicities.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. It sounds simple, but so many people let bad traffic or a rude checkout chick or the wrong coffee order ruin their entire day. It’s not good or bad – it just is. Maybe the checkout chick is having a hard time. Bad traffic - more time listening to Audible or my fave podcasts. Wrong coffee order – mistakes happen. I’m alive. It’s a fucking beautiful day. Life’s bloody good!
- When new opportunities come your way, say yes and see where they lead you!
"All of us need a vision for our lives, and even as we work to achieve that vision, we must surrender to the power that is greater than we know. It's one of the defining principles of my life that I love to share: God can dream a bigger dream for you than you could ever dream for yourself." - Oprah Winfrey
- Anything you resist, persists. I don’t know where I heard this –but holy moly it’s true. And I think my personal experience with anxiety can attest to this! Talk to your doctor, family, friends or find a practitioner you trust. Speak up. You might be surprised to know there are others experiencing the same pain as you.
- Create some letting go rituals. Sometimes I like to clear my mind with meditation after a stressful day. In the shower I also imagine the stress and worry I felt during the day, run down the drain. On a recent episode of the Priestess Podcast, one of Julie's guests - Alexandra Roxo recommends to clients to use pooping as a letting go ritual! Yep – literally letting go of shit that no longer serves you! Ha! How good is that?! :P
- Practice surrender with dance. Put on some good tunes (Beyonce always!) and let loose. Don't be afraid to move your body. Do some head twirls, shake that booty and shimmy ;)
“When we surrender our will to the power of the universe, we receive miracles." ― Gabrielle Bernstein
OK guys - these are my tips and thoughts on the Art of Surrendering. If you’re wanting to go even further I recommend reading The Surrender Experiment by Michael A Singer. This book is amazing and really inspired me to explore new ways I could surrender in my own life. Michael shows us that through surrendering to the universe (especially when it doesn’t make logical sense!) you can be rewarded with some incredible, magical and wonderful experiences that can only be explained as miracles.
As usual, if you have any questions, please pop them below. Much love! x